I experienced this (and so many other times).....
I have been living in Oak Park, IL for four years and I just had my first very unpleasant experience. About an hour ago, I was "verbally" harassed by three African American (2 males and 1 females) right in front of the 7-Eleven store on 661 South Boulevard Avenue . The three individuals, all in their late 20s, were well-dressed and standing in front of their Mercedes-Benz and Cadillac. I was being stared at the whole time when I were walking from my car to the store and on my way back. It made me felt very uncomfortable. And I finally could not take it anymore and asked them politely------"Are you guys living nearby? Have you seen an Asian before?" They responded by saying "Mexican won't go in the wrong territory.....I don't see Asian often but they exist....." And then they were laughing again (really loud).
It is really upsetting me. I would never expect, not in a million years, to get such comments from people living in Oak Park and to experience such a thing in this community. I felt like I were somewhere else..................
It is really upsetting me. I would never expect, not in a million years, to get such comments from people living in Oak Park and to experience such a thing in this community. I felt like I were somewhere else..................
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by candystripper on -
try...
don't take it personally
you seem a little too sensitive
I can relate to that totally, but all you can do is to stay strong.
don't submit or just let it "go"
but, then again don't work yourself up
just "talk" back
when you feel you're being stared at, tell yourself,"so what?"
and even better, look at them and say "what you lookin' at?"
as rude as it sounds, it'll show them you're not an easy target
hope this'll help you some
good luck =)
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Permalink Reply by Josh on -
I disagree with candystripper and would recommend against their suggestion of talking big back to them.
You are not too sensitive. There was wrong done in this situation and it wasn't all your fault.
Let me say a few things without pointing out race or ignorance on anyone's side. These people obviously were looking to make themselves feel better.
Talking to them wouldn't make anything better. I would have said nothing and left.
The other day I watched a bar tender make the best judgment on character. A woman in her mid twenties tramped into the bar, pulled out a $5 bill and said a little too loudly, "I have five dollars, what can five dollars get me?"
The bar tender said, "Nothing."
"Not even a cup of ice?"
"No."
"I thought you were cool but you're obviously not."
The bartender continued to stare just past her. Then she left.
People specifically look for fights. A fight is the opportunity to make something more of themselves, to be important. Why? Lots of people aren't important, regardless of status symbols (nice cars, nice clothing).
You weren't looking for a fight, it seems. You genuinely wanted to know what was going on. Sometimes asking why isn't important. I've asked "why" too often and left myself open to ridicule and to people picking fights.
Pick and choose your fights. You'll live longer and eventually you'll be happier.
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Permalink Reply by Derek Choe on -
i suppose it was just your unlucky day in those 4 years....i was actually walking down the steet the other day just finishing soccer practise and about 5 young aborginal kids in their 13/14s? were riding their bikes behind me and all 5 of them were riding on the side of me and said" oi. you asian fuckhead..stop why dont ya so i kick your asian head in all the way back to your mudhut or maybe back to China where you work in a sweatshop factory.."..i didnt take it too welll and i was about to lose it but it was good that the police pulled up besides me and asked what the problem was..I just said" these young kids were racially abusing me sir..I think it would be fitting if you pulled them aside for a few minutes"..so he did that and made them say sorry to me propperly..its not the fact that racial taunts get to me....its the immaturity of people like those kids and the people that Jade mentioned earlier..I just dont see the beneficial side of being racist..
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Permalink Reply by Xxxtine on -
Since I wasn't there and I don't know the full logistics ... it seems that you brought the your being Asian up first - which I always find is the easiest way someone can get back at you. I agree with Duy-Tan in that body language and how you carry yourself always makes the biggest impact in dealing with uncomfortable situations. If you act like you belong, then you belong no matter how anyone makes you feel otherwise because of your perceived entitlement to be there at that moment. And regardless of race, ethnicity or gender, people will respect that because you've already demanded it through your body language. I always say, one should walk into the room like they own it.
Also, if you attack first, people will always defend themselves. In a situation like this (and I have been in situations like this many times before) charm is the best way to go. Suck up the pride and play really dumb. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you guys staring ... is there something wrong?"
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